A Rocky Trial
Lal Chand stared at the rock face, peeping out from the edge of the fort, from his window in wonder. In the fading evening light it had appeared just like PaanchiBai, his wife. The same stoic, long suffering, resigned to her fate, look. His had been a child marriage as was the prevalent custom of his village. As far as he could remember, she would be draped in some dirty, brownish odhni, staring at him from behind her purdah, busy in and out with her domestic chores, while he chatted with old friends or smoked hookah. Well he Lal Chand could afford to loll around, he was studying in JNU and every body hoped and knew that one day in the near future he would be a ‘Burra-sahib’. Well he had attempted the Civil Services exam several times, and at last landed the Forest Officer’s job. There had been many celebrations and everyone had teased PanchiBai on her new status of a memsaheb.
All dreamt of untold riches once, Lal Chand became a big officer. Why that bespectacled Bhagchand, (his uncle several times removed) had a wonderful bungalow in Jaipur and had bought a farm-house on the outskirts of the city, and he was just an inspector in the Income-Tax! The elderly men of the village gathered in his house to eat the laddoo, which his sister was distributing, each supplying his own tale of men who had used or rather abused their office to amass untold wealth. There were some voices of caution, which talked of some RamNarain who was under suspension, for possessing disproportionate assets. These voices were quickly drowned under the cacophony of louder, strident ones which spoke of ways and means of getting out of such sticky situations. There was always an MP or MLA of their caste who would bail them out. So why worry, Lal Chand, they patted him on his back hard, just keep adding to your assets. If things got hot for you, you could resign and contest the elections and then maybe yet more avenues would be opened for adding to your wealth. Just look at Dharam Chand, his wife was an MLA, and heading the minorities’ rights commission! An illiterate woman, who had nothing to recommend her except the fact that her husband was the secretary to the Home Minister. At the mention of wives, Lal Chand remembered PaanchiBai. Well it was tough to visualize her as an urbanized woman, an MLA was a distant dream. A shadow of disappointment crossed his face, NamoRam, a distant cousin now a senior police officer, gave him a sly wink,”Every body takes a second wife, see all my brothers (and I have four), all have got these pretty memsahebs with them. Their first wives stay quietly in the village. Arre,Yaar you don’t even have children to bother you! I on the other hand have to constantly settle the disputes of my brother’s children.” Lal Chand gave a toothy smile,” Bhai saheb you didn’t take another wife?” “Why get into complications. You can get plenty of women without having to marry them?” There was a general shout of laughter and backslapping and Lal Chand felt that things couldn’t have gotten better.
PaanchiBai couldn’t believe her fate! She had long ago accepted herself as a symbol of ill-omen, everything she touched was turned lifeless. Unlettered and unwise to the ways of the world, the stillborn sons that she had borne gave rise to the dreaded superstition. Even the little baby girl just survived only for six months, confirming the worst fears about her. Her tears had long dried up, she had wept enough. Her heart was empty, her only hope of survival was her husband. He hadn’t said anything unkind to her. Not that he was too concerned about the dead children, he just used her to fulfill his physical requirements. That was as should be, she didn’t expect anything otherwise. She dare not complain about his mother, once she had tried to tell him about the way his sister taunted her on not having a son; well that had backfired on her, he had gotten into a rage and called her far worse names than even his mother did! She had cowered in fear expecting blows as well, but mercifully some small child had come with a message for him and he had left. Well he didn’t come home on that particular winter vacations and she had to endure the slights and innuendoes of his mother for having kept her son away from him. What a cursed creature she was, far from being able to attract her husband to herself, her very presence kept him from home! Paanchi had borne all that in silence, any comments or even a long repressed sigh would unleash a greater tirade. Soon her mother-in-law would get tired of her, muttering, at the hard-hearted woman she had as her bahu. She took to calling her ‘Pathribai’ or the stone woman. Somehow the name stuck, Paanchi’s face, thin and long with small beady little eyes, had been wooden and expressionless to begin with, and over the years apart from tears it had not had a chance to feel anything else.
He was not a man given in to thinking too much, but the gray-white rock on the Kumbhalgarh fort did trigger off feelings of guilt and unease, long buried underneath. Paanchi’s face twisted in agony and betrayal, floated back into vision. That rock face was annoyingly staring at him even in the fading sunlight. He got up and pulled the curtain across to block it out. A knock on his door and the rotund face of his orderly appeared with his evening meal. The man laid the food and was about to disappear,” Kumbhalgarh has a large forest, haanh?” Keshav understood his new saheb wanted to chat with him, his face split into a wide smile,” Hukum, earlier one could even spot the tiger here, quite easily, now of course things are different.” “What about other animals, bears, leopards?” “Sir, all of them can be spotted in the dark when they come to drink water from the stream in the jungle. Hukum when ever you want to go for shikaar you have to just let me know. This place is full of partridges and wild rabbits, Badriji, he makes excellent preparations…”, Keshav trailed off noting that his new saheb was not too interested. He tried again, best to keep the boss pleased,” Hukum, there is a Maata-ka-mandir in the fort. The people out here have tremendous faith in the Devi. All your wishes are granted. Hukum, during the mela there’s so much crowd that it’s tough even getting a glimpse of her.” “This place has lots of big boulders, rocks?” “Ji Hukum?”Keshav was puzzled, may be his new saheb was interested in marbles.” Very good white marbles are available in Rajsamand Hukum,” he offered a little cautiously.” No, no I meant rocks.” Lal Chand got up and pulled the curtains aside, it was pitch dark outside, once the sun sets, it suddenly gets to be night. There was nothing to be seen, a sliver of a moon with it’s faint light cast a feeble glow in the sky. Keshav was staring at his saheb in amazement, may be, he was not all there, he concluded. Well it was his lot to put up with all sorts of masters, so long as this one didn’t get drunk and start beating him, he would get by. After all he was on temporary daily wages, once he got his regular appointment then of course things would be different. He had to grin and bear all kinds of situations. The last Saheb, Mishraji was alright only occasionally shouting at him. His wife had given him endless trouble, keeping him busy from dawn to dusk. Keshav hoped that this saheb would give him the permanent peon’s post lying vacant for years.
Every time he had broached his saheb on the vacancy, he had received the standard reply, ‘the government can’t pay our salary, where will they announce new posts?’ Anyway he continued to hope that he would get the permanent job, then of course, once his official period of probation was over, he would only work from ten-to-five. He must go to the mandir and beseech the Devi-Maa to get him this permanent post. He would persuade his new Saheb to go with him in the morning for a darshan!
Keshav turned around rather brightly, “Hukum, we can go right up to the mandir in the morning. In the morning one can sometimes see the cheetah, or even the bear.” To his surprise, Lal Chand readily agreed,”Wake me up at five,” he commanded. Lal Chand wanted to see the rock face in the morning light and get rid of this uncomfortable feeling of being watched. Even though he couldn’t see it, he could feel the rock noting his every movement. He went and pulled the curtains across again hastily, to cut off the mysterious dark night and the thoughts of Paanchi’s trembling nervous hands as she had touched his new Maruti Esteem, as if touching it to reassure herself that it was real. The smile of pleasure of possession had briefly flickered on her face to give way to terror as she watched his angry face reflected in the glass pane of the car, standing behind her. Everything about her irritated him, he didn't want to be associated with her in any way, particularly since he had married Rina, a fellow colleague.
Rina was a stout, short woman with an almost ebony black complexion. However, Lal Chand never tired of praising her academic efforts, she had been doing research in Pusa Institute on some insects he would boast with pride. Paanchi Bai had watched her step out of the car from her window upstairs. She had been aghast when she had heard the news of her husband's remarriage and refused to believe it, despite the many barbs and open comments by her mother-in-law about her having being so ill-omened that she had managed to lose her husband to another woman. She realized that nothing in her life would ever change, it would be dreary round of cleaning and cooking. Paanchibai, had heard, from other such unfortunate women that often enough these 'new' wives didn't like coming to the villages, so atleast here you had the husband to yourself. Then the men were kind and sometimes generous and left money and clothes for them and their children. This last bit of hope had also disappeared once she saw that Rina was playing the typical 'bahu' with her head covered, and touching all the elders feet with great respect. Almost everybody remained impassive, but in their quiet way accepted her in their lives. It was apparent that she believed what Lal Chand had told her that his wife had died in childbirth. However, when she met Paanchibai face-to-face and realized the truth, she turned a shade of maroonish-black in rage and all the pretence of a well-bred city girl was thrown aside. It took all of Lal Chand's patience and persuasion to mollify her. Paanchibai had tried to avoid any kind of meeting with her husband, yet she couldn't resist the temptation of looking at the sleek new car. Well, if only for a moment she would make -believe that she would drive off with her husband into the land of eternal bliss. The dreamy smile made her bony thin face soften into a smile, when she looked up she saw Lal Chand and his new wife staring at her with contempt and anger. Lal Chand, shouted at her angrily,” Go away, you ill-omened woman, any thing you touch turns into a stone! Don't you dare ever come near us again.” Paanchibai had a fleeting glimpse of the smug smile on Rina's face as she ran, tears of humiliation blinding her on her journey to annihilation. The piercing cry of self-pity mingled with anger at the injustice of fate was heard for miles around, as people crowded around the well in which Paanchibai had thrown herself.
Whatever, feelings of guilt Lal Chand felt were swept away by Rina's cheerful presence. Once out of the village and back to Jaipur, Lal Chand dismissed the matter of Paanchibai completely. Rina couldn't have been a better companion, and he felt quite upset as he got posting orders to this far flung place. Although in some odd way he felt relieved being by himself, Rina could be quite over-bearing. She was always trying to improve him, his mind, his clothes (it was never mentioned openly) but Rina felt that he had to go a long way before he was reasonably presentable. There were times he felt like rebelling but the consequences were far too frightening, what with Rina threatening to also commit suicide and leaving incriminating notes of 'dowry harassment' against him. Lal Chand missed Paanchibai, she was so soothing to his ego, then he would have done all the tutoring and he could have laughed at her mistakes. Well, there was the strange rock-face he would explore tomorrow morning.
"Saheb, this fort has the enviable history of never having been conquered,” offered Sattar his driver in a rich fruity voice. It was hard not to believe this legend as Lal Chand stared at the steep hill top on which the fort was located. The top of the rock peered down at him, it was almost as if 'she' were calling him. Was it the trick of the sunlight that Lal Chand felt rather than saw the fleeting smile of Paanchibai behind her veil when she knew that he would be coming to her? “Saheb, we can rest here, in this shaded area under the tree, the rest of the climb is fairly steep,” offered Sattar again, he was already a little breatheless. Lal Chand was impatient to get to the top, the rock appeared more and more like a woman with her bowed head covered with an odhni. He shook his head and continued at a brisker pace. Turning the corner he came face to face with the rock. It was of greyish-brown colour like most other boulders in that area. It appeared lifeless and uninteresting in the morning light and in the company of Sattar and Keshav, Lal Chand was surprised at himself for even looking twice at it.”Hukum, I have brought the flowers and sweets to offer the Devi Maa,” Keshav's voice broke in his reverie. A quick visit inside the old mandir revealed a gloomy dark interior where an equally ancient pujari who stared at him with his blood shot eyes, “Naya Saheb?” he enquired of Sattar, who replied by a nod. With quick practised movements the ancient one put a large tilak on Lal Chand's forehead. “I have a son-in-law, saheb working in your office,” came from the ancient pujari. There was a pregnant pause, “He's lame, fell from a tree as a child, he got the job on the 'Handicapped quota'.” “Govind Ram is a peon in the office Hukum,” offered Sattar.
As Lal Chand hurried down the slope, he turned back did he feel or see the rock face, smile at him in satisfaction? Keshav close behind him following his thoughts said, “That rock is as old as the mandir, some say that it has magical powers, and people come to it for fulfillment of long pending wishes.” Sure enough there were signs of offerings of flowers and lamps around it. Sattar began, “These villagers hukum will believe anything.” Lal Chand began the day feeling contented and happy. In the afternoon he went back to his room and drew the curtains back so that he could see 'her'. As he ate the lunch prepared by Badriji the cook, he could feel 'her' comforting presence. The meal was a simple one of bajra-ki-roti and some vegetable and lassi. It was a relief from having to appreciate all those modern baked dishes which Rina made and he had to pretend to enjoy. Lal Chand was soon in the land of the nod.
As soon as he had finished with office he was hurrying 'home', well he had begun to regard the forest guest house as that, in fact he didn't want to go to his official residence, which was in the city. Lal Chand fell into a routine of walking to the mandir every morning and didn't know when he started talking to the rock, initially in his morning trek to the mandir and then in the evening from his room. He would tell 'her' of his day's activity and his fears or sometimes just watch 'her' in the gathering shadows silently. It was comforting and soothing just sitting there and smoking his cigarette, watching the sun climb in the sky knowing it was time for him to get to work. In the afternoons he would get back to stare at the rock from his window. He had probably never known Paanchi bai so intimately as he did now. 'She' told him of her anxieties, fears and hopelessness at the loss of her daughter and the still-born sons. Yes his mind did go back to her pinched sorrowful face, hiding tears, her thin frame shaking with unsound sobs. His life took on this strange routine, he unaware of everything else.
He had been out on a tour for a couple of days and when he returned it was late at night, he was too tired, his body ached terribly. Lal Chand thought that he was probably coming down with the viral which had been going on in the town. The next morning indeed he could barely move, he had a raging fever, the local doctor came and made the predictable noises and left behind a large number of pills to be taken at various intervals of the day. Keshav pulled back the curtains, did he imagine the worried frown on 'her' brow?” Hukum, I went to the mandir today and got the prasad, you will become well soon. On the rock also I offered some flowers, see I got one back for you hukum.” As Lal Chand touched the flower, it's vibrant red colour coursed through his body and he felt revitalized. The fragrance reminded him of his innocent youthful days back in the village when nothing was more important than wiling away the time playing cards, gossiping and looking forward to the next meal. The fever took several days to go and in the stealth of night he was sure that 'She' was keeping vigil.
The telephone on the bedside table rang shrilly, “Hello, Rina, kya hua?”As incomprehensible sounds of anger and concern penetrated his fever racked mind. “You have been so irresponsible, not calling up after leaving Jaipur. The phone at home has been dead for days, and you know from the office I can't make outside calls. I have been so worried about you, I am calling from an STD booth in the market. Rajeev who had gone to Udaipur, he told me that you were very ill.” Looking up did he see the rock withdraw at a distance, cold and aloof? He felt a sudden chill he shivered, “What's happened Lal, I am coming by evening train I will be with you tomorrow morning.” He felt abandoned, unloved and wished Rina wouldn't come. Anyway he surmised that she didn't have too much leave left so probably wouldn't be able to stay too long.
Rina stared at him in a puzzled way, “What's wrong with you, I have been here now for the past one week and you seem to have gone into a depression. Nothing I do appears right. Why do you keep staring out of the window all the time?” Keshav entering the room just then suggested, “Hukum,saheb likes to go to the Devi mandir, maybe tomorrow we can all go. We will go slowly taking rest if saheb feels tired on the way.” “No, no I'm not that weak.” “O.K then that's final,” cried Rina in relief.
He dreaded going up the hill, but Rina was adamant. “I also want to see the Devi mandir, Keshav has been telling me that you go for a trek every morning." It was a cloudy overcast sky in the morning. They gave way to sudden black clouds. “Looks like it will rain very heavily, we better go back,” suggested Lal Chand. Somehow he was feeling guilty and ashamed of going up there with Rina. “We can take shelter in the temple, you were never like this before, afraid of a little rain,” commented Rina. Lal Chand looked up at the rock peering down at them, did 'she' appear grim, determined and as if holding back a life time of pain in her heart. Rina appeared also to get infected by his mood, “Doesn't this rock look like a woman draped in a shawl from a distance?” “Huh, achha?” “We should have brought Keshav along,” stated Rina shivering a little. “He went on leave, his brother was getting married,” informed Lal Chand. They were soon in front of the temple, Rina entered while he hung around outside. He was feeling a sense of aching loss, a sudden unaccountable fear gripped him. He prostrated himself in front of the rock beseeching forgiveness, he was unaware of the sudden thunder storm and the pelting rain, he had never known 'her' in this mood. He didn't know for how long he had been lying stretched out in front of the rock, Lal Chand became aware of Rina's voice which sounded as if it were coming out of a tunnel, but the harshness and it's emergency were not lost on him, “Uttho, you are burning with fever, why were you crying like a child? Run, bhago, (there was panic in her voice). See, see there…” The rock appeared menacing and he was sure it had moved in a threatening manner towards Rina. He just heard the yell of terror as Rina tripped over the rock and he saw her body flung high in the sky before it fell clear of the rampart of the fort into the gorge below.
Glossary: 1. bhago - run, 2. uttho - get up, 3. accha - really, 4. kya hua - what's happened, 5. mandir - temple, 6. naya saheb - new officer, 7. bajre-ki-roti - bread, 8. lassi - curd preparation, 9. ladoo - sweets
Chandra Ghosh Jain was born in Calcutta and spent her formative years in Delhi. She graduated with a degree in Economics (Honours) from Miranda House, Delhi University. She received her post graduation in Economics from Jawahar Lal University New Delhi. For a brief while she taught Economics in Delhi University as a lecturer. Her short story ‘Sita’s letter to her unborn daughter’ is included in an anthology published by Penguin, In search of Sita; while a collection of her tales ‘Memsaheb and the Thief’ has been published by Bumblebee Publishers. She can be found on www.authorsden.com/chandra
Lal Chand stared at the rock face, peeping out from the edge of the fort, from his window in wonder. In the fading evening light it had appeared just like PaanchiBai, his wife. The same stoic, long suffering, resigned to her fate, look. His had been a child marriage as was the prevalent custom of his village. As far as he could remember, she would be draped in some dirty, brownish odhni, staring at him from behind her purdah, busy in and out with her domestic chores, while he chatted with old friends or smoked hookah. Well he Lal Chand could afford to loll around, he was studying in JNU and every body hoped and knew that one day in the near future he would be a ‘Burra-sahib’. Well he had attempted the Civil Services exam several times, and at last landed the Forest Officer’s job. There had been many celebrations and everyone had teased PanchiBai on her new status of a memsaheb.
All dreamt of untold riches once, Lal Chand became a big officer. Why that bespectacled Bhagchand, (his uncle several times removed) had a wonderful bungalow in Jaipur and had bought a farm-house on the outskirts of the city, and he was just an inspector in the Income-Tax! The elderly men of the village gathered in his house to eat the laddoo, which his sister was distributing, each supplying his own tale of men who had used or rather abused their office to amass untold wealth. There were some voices of caution, which talked of some RamNarain who was under suspension, for possessing disproportionate assets. These voices were quickly drowned under the cacophony of louder, strident ones which spoke of ways and means of getting out of such sticky situations. There was always an MP or MLA of their caste who would bail them out. So why worry, Lal Chand, they patted him on his back hard, just keep adding to your assets. If things got hot for you, you could resign and contest the elections and then maybe yet more avenues would be opened for adding to your wealth. Just look at Dharam Chand, his wife was an MLA, and heading the minorities’ rights commission! An illiterate woman, who had nothing to recommend her except the fact that her husband was the secretary to the Home Minister. At the mention of wives, Lal Chand remembered PaanchiBai. Well it was tough to visualize her as an urbanized woman, an MLA was a distant dream. A shadow of disappointment crossed his face, NamoRam, a distant cousin now a senior police officer, gave him a sly wink,”Every body takes a second wife, see all my brothers (and I have four), all have got these pretty memsahebs with them. Their first wives stay quietly in the village. Arre,Yaar you don’t even have children to bother you! I on the other hand have to constantly settle the disputes of my brother’s children.” Lal Chand gave a toothy smile,” Bhai saheb you didn’t take another wife?” “Why get into complications. You can get plenty of women without having to marry them?” There was a general shout of laughter and backslapping and Lal Chand felt that things couldn’t have gotten better.
PaanchiBai couldn’t believe her fate! She had long ago accepted herself as a symbol of ill-omen, everything she touched was turned lifeless. Unlettered and unwise to the ways of the world, the stillborn sons that she had borne gave rise to the dreaded superstition. Even the little baby girl just survived only for six months, confirming the worst fears about her. Her tears had long dried up, she had wept enough. Her heart was empty, her only hope of survival was her husband. He hadn’t said anything unkind to her. Not that he was too concerned about the dead children, he just used her to fulfill his physical requirements. That was as should be, she didn’t expect anything otherwise. She dare not complain about his mother, once she had tried to tell him about the way his sister taunted her on not having a son; well that had backfired on her, he had gotten into a rage and called her far worse names than even his mother did! She had cowered in fear expecting blows as well, but mercifully some small child had come with a message for him and he had left. Well he didn’t come home on that particular winter vacations and she had to endure the slights and innuendoes of his mother for having kept her son away from him. What a cursed creature she was, far from being able to attract her husband to herself, her very presence kept him from home! Paanchi had borne all that in silence, any comments or even a long repressed sigh would unleash a greater tirade. Soon her mother-in-law would get tired of her, muttering, at the hard-hearted woman she had as her bahu. She took to calling her ‘Pathribai’ or the stone woman. Somehow the name stuck, Paanchi’s face, thin and long with small beady little eyes, had been wooden and expressionless to begin with, and over the years apart from tears it had not had a chance to feel anything else.
He was not a man given in to thinking too much, but the gray-white rock on the Kumbhalgarh fort did trigger off feelings of guilt and unease, long buried underneath. Paanchi’s face twisted in agony and betrayal, floated back into vision. That rock face was annoyingly staring at him even in the fading sunlight. He got up and pulled the curtain across to block it out. A knock on his door and the rotund face of his orderly appeared with his evening meal. The man laid the food and was about to disappear,” Kumbhalgarh has a large forest, haanh?” Keshav understood his new saheb wanted to chat with him, his face split into a wide smile,” Hukum, earlier one could even spot the tiger here, quite easily, now of course things are different.” “What about other animals, bears, leopards?” “Sir, all of them can be spotted in the dark when they come to drink water from the stream in the jungle. Hukum when ever you want to go for shikaar you have to just let me know. This place is full of partridges and wild rabbits, Badriji, he makes excellent preparations…”, Keshav trailed off noting that his new saheb was not too interested. He tried again, best to keep the boss pleased,” Hukum, there is a Maata-ka-mandir in the fort. The people out here have tremendous faith in the Devi. All your wishes are granted. Hukum, during the mela there’s so much crowd that it’s tough even getting a glimpse of her.” “This place has lots of big boulders, rocks?” “Ji Hukum?”Keshav was puzzled, may be his new saheb was interested in marbles.” Very good white marbles are available in Rajsamand Hukum,” he offered a little cautiously.” No, no I meant rocks.” Lal Chand got up and pulled the curtains aside, it was pitch dark outside, once the sun sets, it suddenly gets to be night. There was nothing to be seen, a sliver of a moon with it’s faint light cast a feeble glow in the sky. Keshav was staring at his saheb in amazement, may be, he was not all there, he concluded. Well it was his lot to put up with all sorts of masters, so long as this one didn’t get drunk and start beating him, he would get by. After all he was on temporary daily wages, once he got his regular appointment then of course things would be different. He had to grin and bear all kinds of situations. The last Saheb, Mishraji was alright only occasionally shouting at him. His wife had given him endless trouble, keeping him busy from dawn to dusk. Keshav hoped that this saheb would give him the permanent peon’s post lying vacant for years.
Every time he had broached his saheb on the vacancy, he had received the standard reply, ‘the government can’t pay our salary, where will they announce new posts?’ Anyway he continued to hope that he would get the permanent job, then of course, once his official period of probation was over, he would only work from ten-to-five. He must go to the mandir and beseech the Devi-Maa to get him this permanent post. He would persuade his new Saheb to go with him in the morning for a darshan!
Keshav turned around rather brightly, “Hukum, we can go right up to the mandir in the morning. In the morning one can sometimes see the cheetah, or even the bear.” To his surprise, Lal Chand readily agreed,”Wake me up at five,” he commanded. Lal Chand wanted to see the rock face in the morning light and get rid of this uncomfortable feeling of being watched. Even though he couldn’t see it, he could feel the rock noting his every movement. He went and pulled the curtains across again hastily, to cut off the mysterious dark night and the thoughts of Paanchi’s trembling nervous hands as she had touched his new Maruti Esteem, as if touching it to reassure herself that it was real. The smile of pleasure of possession had briefly flickered on her face to give way to terror as she watched his angry face reflected in the glass pane of the car, standing behind her. Everything about her irritated him, he didn't want to be associated with her in any way, particularly since he had married Rina, a fellow colleague.
Rina was a stout, short woman with an almost ebony black complexion. However, Lal Chand never tired of praising her academic efforts, she had been doing research in Pusa Institute on some insects he would boast with pride. Paanchi Bai had watched her step out of the car from her window upstairs. She had been aghast when she had heard the news of her husband's remarriage and refused to believe it, despite the many barbs and open comments by her mother-in-law about her having being so ill-omened that she had managed to lose her husband to another woman. She realized that nothing in her life would ever change, it would be dreary round of cleaning and cooking. Paanchibai, had heard, from other such unfortunate women that often enough these 'new' wives didn't like coming to the villages, so atleast here you had the husband to yourself. Then the men were kind and sometimes generous and left money and clothes for them and their children. This last bit of hope had also disappeared once she saw that Rina was playing the typical 'bahu' with her head covered, and touching all the elders feet with great respect. Almost everybody remained impassive, but in their quiet way accepted her in their lives. It was apparent that she believed what Lal Chand had told her that his wife had died in childbirth. However, when she met Paanchibai face-to-face and realized the truth, she turned a shade of maroonish-black in rage and all the pretence of a well-bred city girl was thrown aside. It took all of Lal Chand's patience and persuasion to mollify her. Paanchibai had tried to avoid any kind of meeting with her husband, yet she couldn't resist the temptation of looking at the sleek new car. Well, if only for a moment she would make -believe that she would drive off with her husband into the land of eternal bliss. The dreamy smile made her bony thin face soften into a smile, when she looked up she saw Lal Chand and his new wife staring at her with contempt and anger. Lal Chand, shouted at her angrily,” Go away, you ill-omened woman, any thing you touch turns into a stone! Don't you dare ever come near us again.” Paanchibai had a fleeting glimpse of the smug smile on Rina's face as she ran, tears of humiliation blinding her on her journey to annihilation. The piercing cry of self-pity mingled with anger at the injustice of fate was heard for miles around, as people crowded around the well in which Paanchibai had thrown herself.
Whatever, feelings of guilt Lal Chand felt were swept away by Rina's cheerful presence. Once out of the village and back to Jaipur, Lal Chand dismissed the matter of Paanchibai completely. Rina couldn't have been a better companion, and he felt quite upset as he got posting orders to this far flung place. Although in some odd way he felt relieved being by himself, Rina could be quite over-bearing. She was always trying to improve him, his mind, his clothes (it was never mentioned openly) but Rina felt that he had to go a long way before he was reasonably presentable. There were times he felt like rebelling but the consequences were far too frightening, what with Rina threatening to also commit suicide and leaving incriminating notes of 'dowry harassment' against him. Lal Chand missed Paanchibai, she was so soothing to his ego, then he would have done all the tutoring and he could have laughed at her mistakes. Well, there was the strange rock-face he would explore tomorrow morning.
"Saheb, this fort has the enviable history of never having been conquered,” offered Sattar his driver in a rich fruity voice. It was hard not to believe this legend as Lal Chand stared at the steep hill top on which the fort was located. The top of the rock peered down at him, it was almost as if 'she' were calling him. Was it the trick of the sunlight that Lal Chand felt rather than saw the fleeting smile of Paanchibai behind her veil when she knew that he would be coming to her? “Saheb, we can rest here, in this shaded area under the tree, the rest of the climb is fairly steep,” offered Sattar again, he was already a little breatheless. Lal Chand was impatient to get to the top, the rock appeared more and more like a woman with her bowed head covered with an odhni. He shook his head and continued at a brisker pace. Turning the corner he came face to face with the rock. It was of greyish-brown colour like most other boulders in that area. It appeared lifeless and uninteresting in the morning light and in the company of Sattar and Keshav, Lal Chand was surprised at himself for even looking twice at it.”Hukum, I have brought the flowers and sweets to offer the Devi Maa,” Keshav's voice broke in his reverie. A quick visit inside the old mandir revealed a gloomy dark interior where an equally ancient pujari who stared at him with his blood shot eyes, “Naya Saheb?” he enquired of Sattar, who replied by a nod. With quick practised movements the ancient one put a large tilak on Lal Chand's forehead. “I have a son-in-law, saheb working in your office,” came from the ancient pujari. There was a pregnant pause, “He's lame, fell from a tree as a child, he got the job on the 'Handicapped quota'.” “Govind Ram is a peon in the office Hukum,” offered Sattar.
As Lal Chand hurried down the slope, he turned back did he feel or see the rock face, smile at him in satisfaction? Keshav close behind him following his thoughts said, “That rock is as old as the mandir, some say that it has magical powers, and people come to it for fulfillment of long pending wishes.” Sure enough there were signs of offerings of flowers and lamps around it. Sattar began, “These villagers hukum will believe anything.” Lal Chand began the day feeling contented and happy. In the afternoon he went back to his room and drew the curtains back so that he could see 'her'. As he ate the lunch prepared by Badriji the cook, he could feel 'her' comforting presence. The meal was a simple one of bajra-ki-roti and some vegetable and lassi. It was a relief from having to appreciate all those modern baked dishes which Rina made and he had to pretend to enjoy. Lal Chand was soon in the land of the nod.
As soon as he had finished with office he was hurrying 'home', well he had begun to regard the forest guest house as that, in fact he didn't want to go to his official residence, which was in the city. Lal Chand fell into a routine of walking to the mandir every morning and didn't know when he started talking to the rock, initially in his morning trek to the mandir and then in the evening from his room. He would tell 'her' of his day's activity and his fears or sometimes just watch 'her' in the gathering shadows silently. It was comforting and soothing just sitting there and smoking his cigarette, watching the sun climb in the sky knowing it was time for him to get to work. In the afternoons he would get back to stare at the rock from his window. He had probably never known Paanchi bai so intimately as he did now. 'She' told him of her anxieties, fears and hopelessness at the loss of her daughter and the still-born sons. Yes his mind did go back to her pinched sorrowful face, hiding tears, her thin frame shaking with unsound sobs. His life took on this strange routine, he unaware of everything else.
He had been out on a tour for a couple of days and when he returned it was late at night, he was too tired, his body ached terribly. Lal Chand thought that he was probably coming down with the viral which had been going on in the town. The next morning indeed he could barely move, he had a raging fever, the local doctor came and made the predictable noises and left behind a large number of pills to be taken at various intervals of the day. Keshav pulled back the curtains, did he imagine the worried frown on 'her' brow?” Hukum, I went to the mandir today and got the prasad, you will become well soon. On the rock also I offered some flowers, see I got one back for you hukum.” As Lal Chand touched the flower, it's vibrant red colour coursed through his body and he felt revitalized. The fragrance reminded him of his innocent youthful days back in the village when nothing was more important than wiling away the time playing cards, gossiping and looking forward to the next meal. The fever took several days to go and in the stealth of night he was sure that 'She' was keeping vigil.
The telephone on the bedside table rang shrilly, “Hello, Rina, kya hua?”As incomprehensible sounds of anger and concern penetrated his fever racked mind. “You have been so irresponsible, not calling up after leaving Jaipur. The phone at home has been dead for days, and you know from the office I can't make outside calls. I have been so worried about you, I am calling from an STD booth in the market. Rajeev who had gone to Udaipur, he told me that you were very ill.” Looking up did he see the rock withdraw at a distance, cold and aloof? He felt a sudden chill he shivered, “What's happened Lal, I am coming by evening train I will be with you tomorrow morning.” He felt abandoned, unloved and wished Rina wouldn't come. Anyway he surmised that she didn't have too much leave left so probably wouldn't be able to stay too long.
Rina stared at him in a puzzled way, “What's wrong with you, I have been here now for the past one week and you seem to have gone into a depression. Nothing I do appears right. Why do you keep staring out of the window all the time?” Keshav entering the room just then suggested, “Hukum,saheb likes to go to the Devi mandir, maybe tomorrow we can all go. We will go slowly taking rest if saheb feels tired on the way.” “No, no I'm not that weak.” “O.K then that's final,” cried Rina in relief.
He dreaded going up the hill, but Rina was adamant. “I also want to see the Devi mandir, Keshav has been telling me that you go for a trek every morning." It was a cloudy overcast sky in the morning. They gave way to sudden black clouds. “Looks like it will rain very heavily, we better go back,” suggested Lal Chand. Somehow he was feeling guilty and ashamed of going up there with Rina. “We can take shelter in the temple, you were never like this before, afraid of a little rain,” commented Rina. Lal Chand looked up at the rock peering down at them, did 'she' appear grim, determined and as if holding back a life time of pain in her heart. Rina appeared also to get infected by his mood, “Doesn't this rock look like a woman draped in a shawl from a distance?” “Huh, achha?” “We should have brought Keshav along,” stated Rina shivering a little. “He went on leave, his brother was getting married,” informed Lal Chand. They were soon in front of the temple, Rina entered while he hung around outside. He was feeling a sense of aching loss, a sudden unaccountable fear gripped him. He prostrated himself in front of the rock beseeching forgiveness, he was unaware of the sudden thunder storm and the pelting rain, he had never known 'her' in this mood. He didn't know for how long he had been lying stretched out in front of the rock, Lal Chand became aware of Rina's voice which sounded as if it were coming out of a tunnel, but the harshness and it's emergency were not lost on him, “Uttho, you are burning with fever, why were you crying like a child? Run, bhago, (there was panic in her voice). See, see there…” The rock appeared menacing and he was sure it had moved in a threatening manner towards Rina. He just heard the yell of terror as Rina tripped over the rock and he saw her body flung high in the sky before it fell clear of the rampart of the fort into the gorge below.
Glossary: 1. bhago - run, 2. uttho - get up, 3. accha - really, 4. kya hua - what's happened, 5. mandir - temple, 6. naya saheb - new officer, 7. bajre-ki-roti - bread, 8. lassi - curd preparation, 9. ladoo - sweets
Chandra Ghosh Jain was born in Calcutta and spent her formative years in Delhi. She graduated with a degree in Economics (Honours) from Miranda House, Delhi University. She received her post graduation in Economics from Jawahar Lal University New Delhi. For a brief while she taught Economics in Delhi University as a lecturer. Her short story ‘Sita’s letter to her unborn daughter’ is included in an anthology published by Penguin, In search of Sita; while a collection of her tales ‘Memsaheb and the Thief’ has been published by Bumblebee Publishers. She can be found on www.authorsden.com/chandra
